Ego

Lately I've been fascinated with the ego. I've picked up Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth, for the second time (the first time I couldn't understand anything I was reading) and read about a page every night (it's all my brain can hold!). I think the reason why the ego interests me so much is because anything that helps me understand myself and others, I generally find interesting. It's probably behind my quest to be a life coach, and my interest in DISC assessment at work and my love for Oprah. Like the Tolle's book, it's another tool that is helping me understand why I think or react to situations the way I do, and why other's behave they way they do.

This is what I have learned so far:

1. If you think you are superior or inferior to others, that is ego.

2. It is the ego that wants to be recognized and feel appreciated.

3. If you are shy by nature (like me), the ego is in fact at work. The difference is, your fear of negative judgement from others is greater than your desire to be noticed and appreciated and that is what makes you fear things like public speaking.

4. If you find yourself saying or thinking things like, "how could they do this to me?" "this is so unfair," etc., that is usually ego.

5. People who talk about how great they are carry within them the fear of the possibility of not being so great.

6. Ego is not us. This is the deep part. Being aware of the ego at work and seeing it separate from us is living consciously. Who you really are is in fact, apart from ego.

I know I still have lots to learn about ego, and something Oprah said has come back to me time and again - be careful what you wish for. As part of my New Year's resolutions, I committed to learning more about creativity and ego. And when you ask the universe (or God) to teach you, it often means going through some crap to learn it best. Although I have used many tools to learn about ego, the best tool has been life. It hasn't always been fun, but I have been learning.

Bring on creativity!