Most Like Me

Last night I visited the little fishing town of Puerto Morelos, located just south of the bustling tourist city of Cancun, and known for it’s spectacular coral reef just off the coast. One of my Mexican friends, an aspiring distributor of Mexican Mezcal was on his way there for business and invited me along for the ride - a thirty minute ride north of Playa del Carmen.

I first visited Puerto Morelos last June with my daughter. We arranged a snorkelling excursion through the Snorkel Shop in Playa, and into the minivan we climbed for the ride to Puerto Morelos. I’m told that the residents of this town are very protective of their area - preserving the coral reef and limiting developments. It was nice to see a city that looked as though it was still pretty much in its natural state. You’ll find no glitz or glam here - the feel is more small, natural, real. I loved it. The beach was beautiful.. and empty. Quite the contrast from the crowds along the beaches of Playa del Carmen and of course, Cancun. Small, colourful fishing boats lined the beach as we sat and ate lunch that day.. It was lovely and the snorkeling excursion off the coast, with the beautiful schools of fish, conch, barracuda and many other wonderful underwater creatures, was definitely the highlight of our trip.

As we pulled into town last night, we passed a park where families were milling around, their small children chasing each other and happily playing. We stopped at La Panza es Primero for dinner - a chain restaurant housed in a large palapa-style building that sits facing the beach. (Click on the link to see their very cool website.) Even before I stepped out of the vehicle I could smell the fish (it is a fishing town after all). Decorated in the Mexican wrestling theme, we took our seats in the restaurant on blue and pink plastic chairs, facing the peaceful ocean. The service was friendly and attentive, and the fish fillet I decided on (I had to have the fish!) smothered in mango sauce, rice, beans and vegetables was delicious and filling. A mojito complemented the meal nicely (don’t they always?). My friend ordered a caramel cake dessert but I was too stuffed to partake.. He finished it off, no problem.

We were soon off to our second stop of the evening, a little bar called Bara Bara. Filled with what looked like locals, there was a real community feel to that bar which made you instantly feel at home. For such a small out of the way bar, I was struck by a few men sporting stylish hats.. It somehow felt out of place but at the same time fit perfectly. Bara Bara reminded me of some of the bars I visited years ago in Trinidad - a local neighbourhood bar that pretty much stays the same, year after year. (I have to make mention of the service, which I have found all over Mexico - while I was sitting and happened to reach down and scratch an itch on my leg, a man quickly came over to me and offered me bug spray. Can’t say that has ever happened to me in any other country I‘ve visited!) While a couple of patrons played foosball just outside the entrance, I enjoyed another mojito and some good conversation with my friend. A perfect bar on a perfect evening.

Earlier in the week my Canadian-living-in-Mexico girlfriend asked me where in Mexico I would choose to live , if given the opportunity. I gave it some thought, and although I have visited some really beautiful and special spots in Mexico over the past year and a half, I couldn’t pinpoint one particular area as my favourite. It wasn’t until last night that I could answer her question. Puerto Morelos feels most like me.

Three Things I Learned from a Trip to Mexico with my Daughter

Last June I took my fifth trip to Playa del Carmen, this time with my nine year-old daughter. I was excited to show her the Mexico I loved and I fully expected my trip to be the same as the past four had been when I visited alone, maybe minus the nightlife. Yeah, not so much. These are just a few of the things I learned on this last trip.

It's okay to change plans.
I had fantasized about what our days would be like, and was excited to show her the spots I liked to frequent and spend my time. It didn’t turn out that way though. On our first day we walked the many blocks to Kool Beach Club. I love everything about this club - the food (their fish tacos are to die for), the ambiance, the tunes - it’s a fine way to spend a beach day. Taking my daughter there, however, was a different story. On the morning we arrived, ready to spend a fun day at the beach, the ocean was quite rough with huge waves so my girl wasn’t too comfortable swimming in there, even with me. Kool has a pool, but it’s for adults only, which was unfortunate. Also, I realized that sitting on a lounge chair while she played in the sand just wasn’t going to work out too well.. it's just the way things are set up there. I could see that my fantasy of replicating my trips to Playa with her was not going to be possible, so I needed to be flexible and come up with a new plan. We ended up walking back to the beach in front of Fusion restaurant, which was located pretty close to our hotel (Hotel Azul) - a hotel with a lovely pool set among the trees, in case we needed it. It turned out we did need it and spent most of our days between the pool and the beach. No lounge chairs on this trip - just our towels on the sand. It was perfect.

There's more to buying a hammock than meets the eye.
My girl had brought money she had been saving. I showed her how to exchange it at the airport into pesos, and the whole currency exchange sort of amazed her. The first night in Playa, walking down 5th Avenue, among the many shops, my girl spotted the hammocks in among the merchandise. For whatever reason, she has always loved hammocks. We once decided on one hotel over another because one had a couple of hammocks on the property. Every chance she got, she could be found relaxing in one of them. So there we were, walking along the main strip with hammocks on either side of us, in different styles and different colours. We bargained with a few vendors (she loved this as well) and in the process learned more about hammocks than I ever cared to know. Cotton, nylon, silk, double stitched, single stitched, chair style, laying style - who knew there was so much to know about hammocks! Armed with the knowledge of a few days of asking questions and bargaining with various vendors, my girl decided on an orange and yellow, laying style hammock made of silk, double stitched. She spent about $30 for it. And she wants to hang it in her room. I haven’t quite figured out that one yet.

Eating ice cream EVERY night after dinner is a fine tradition.
That’s right, every night. I don’t think I had ever eaten ice cream in Playa before that trip, but this quickly became a new tradition while we walked up and down 5th Avenue after dinner. This is how it would go - first stop was Haagen Daz for two scoops in a cup for me, and then across the street to the gelato place for my girl. They got to know us there. Pretty funny that my girl’s first gelato experience was in Mexico. She teaches me every day to take pleasure in the little things.. guilt free.

I experienced so much with her on that trip - we often talk about it even now, four months later. She loved Mexico as I do, and in fact, didn’t want to leave. She loved the people, the culture and the food (chicken tacos at either Fusion at the beach or El Tulipana at 5th and 16th were a favourite - if it were up to her, she would have eaten them every day). The photo above was taken at Fusion - dinner right on the beach. Her favourite excursion was snorkeling at the reef off the coast of Puerto Morelos with the Snorkel Shop - they took such great care with her and gave her the experience of her life. She loved the butterfly conservatory, giant turtles and (of course) the hammocks at Xcaret Eco Theme Park. We walked 5th Avenue every night and enjoyed the artists who sell their wares each week off of 5th Ave. one night each week. The trip I had envisioned for us was quite different from the one it turned out to be, and I’m so grateful - we had more fun than I could have ever imagined or hoped for.

The Mexico I Love

When a friend of mine, who had moved to Playa del Carmen, Mexico, first invited me to come for a visit, I didn’t exactly jump at the opportunity. I had never been to Mexico, and frankly, it wasn’t on the top of my "bucket list." In fact, it wasn’t anywhere on my list. My impression of Mexico wasn’t exactly positive at the time: a cheap sun vacation spot where everyone and their brother went; rampant drugs and violence.

Fast forward a year and my friend extended another invitation. This time, she had two weeks left on a condo rental so it was a “now or never” situation if I wanted free accommodation. I accepted. It was an ideal time for me to take a vacation— as a single mother of a young child, I hadn’t traveled alone in many years. With my girl now seven years old, I fought past the guilt of leaving and took the leap to set out on my own. And so my love affair with Mexico began.

I stayed ALONE, in a two-bedroom condo in Playa del Carmen, located a few blocks from the famous fifth avenue. My girlfriend was staying at another condo she had since moved into and was working during the day, so I had most days to explore the town on my own. I’m going to be honest here, I was nervous. I was in a strange country, didn’t speak the language, hadn’t traveled in years and the sliding door on my condo wouldn’t lock! Remember, this was not an all-inclusive resort with a concierge and security. I met a neighbour (a fellow Canadian) living the in the same condo complex and mentioned my sliding door problem. She didn’t seem concerned in the least and said that she had never heard of anything bad happening in the area. I wanted to say, “Excuse me, but are we not in Mexico?”

Instead, I trusted in her confidence that everything would be fine and took some comfort in the fact that the condo complex itself was locked from the outside. I put the door out of my mind and slept peacefully every night. I’m certainly not suggesting you rent a condo anywhere and leave the door unlocked— not even in “safe” Toronto, which is where I live. It’s always important to do your part in keeping safe, no matter where you are— at home or abroad, exercising the same precautions everywhere. My point is that I was discovering that my preset ideas about how dangerous and unsafe Mexico was, was a bit exaggerated.

Each day I discovered a little bit more of the little town I was staying in. I walked the few blocks to the beach, did grocery shopping down the street, got my money exchanged around the corner, used an ATM machine, shopped and dined in and around Playa. I made myself at home and never felt as though I was in danger. Nobody bothered nor harassed me. In fact, I found the Mexican people to be very kind and respectful— they mainly just kept to themselves as they went about their daily business.

I fell in love with Mexico – the people, culture, food and the beautiful surroundings of sun and beach. I felt something in the air that was unique and special and I loved being there, taking it all in.

I don’t deny there is more violence in Mexico than in Canada, but most of the problems are concentrated in the big cities and towns that border the U.S., such as Tijuana, Ciudad Juárez and Nuevo Laredo and centre around the illegal drug trade. You just have to look at a map of Mexico to see how far away those areas are from where I was in Playa del Carmen.

Something we must remember is that Mexico is not Canada. It has its own culture, language, history and government that have helped shape it into what it is today, and like any other country, it has its own unique challenges. If you want what you have at home, don’t leave home. But if you want to experience something different, rich and rewarding, travel the world and open yourself up to what is different from home. I’m not sure what the media’s motivation has been for blacklisting Mexico so unfairly over the past couple of years, but hopefully more people will see past the hype and go and experience the beauty and rich culture of Mexico.

The other day I mentioned to my mother that it had been one year since my first trip to Mexico. She responded, “It’s only been one year? It feels like you’ve been going for years now!” You see, I’ve been back three more times since that first trip in April 2009. My next trip is next month and on that trip I will take my eight year old daughter. We will stay in Peurto Aventuras, located just south of Playa del Carmen, and I imagine we will spend our days building sand castles on the beaches of Playa del Carmen and Tulum, swimming in the turquoise-coloured ocean, taking local taxis and buses here and there, eating chicken and fish tacos at some great little restaurants, visiting the ancient Mayan ruins, strolling up and down fifth avenue, catching up with friends and meeting new ones, and together experiencing the beauty of the Mexico I fell in love with during that very first trip a year ago.

16 things that keep me sane

After struggling for months on how to get started blogging, I was inspired by my friend Camilo Olea, who posted a great article on maintaining a sense of well-being, entitled, "30 habits that will change your life." As I read the post, I realized that, although it made some really great points, it was indeed a personal list. It got me thinking about the various "lists" out there: 10 steps to losing weight, 15 ways to stay organized, etc., and it became clear to me that all of these lists are written from a personal point of view. I had never really thought about it like that before. Although some of the points made on lists are common sense and apply to large groups of people, many points are personal. How interesting that we all find various paths to well-being, and what helps to make you sane may cause me stress! My friend Camilo lives in Cancun (and is doing some great things in the areas of social media and promoting Mexican tourism) and I live in Toronto - only a four-hour plane ride away, but world's away in terms of culture, weather, language, experience. I'm not sure of the whereabouts of the author of the post, but I'm sure there are differences there as well. I was inspired to write my own list of things that contribute to my sense of well-being and I wondered if, in the end, my list would in fact be so different from the list Camilo posted.. Here is the list of 16 things that keep me sane:

1. Creating my art.
   Admittedly, I "borrowed" this one from Seth Godin. I was fortunate to hear him speak in Toronto a few weeks ago at a social media conference, and the one statement that stood out for me was "start creating your art." Whatever your art is, be it writing, organizing, painting, connecting people or flying an airplane.. whatever it is that stirs up excitement within you, start doing that. That is why you are here, that is your unique contribution. Creatively speaking, I make soap and have started painting furniture. I tried a silkscreening class and I've immersed myself in anything social media-related. I have been thinking about embellishing clothing and now I'm writing a blog! We are all given 24 hours each day, to spend however we wish. Make time to start creating your art.
   


2. Smiling more.
   While hanging with a friend in Playa del Carmen last year, I observed the power of the smile. My friend is just one of those people who smiles at everyone.. the store clerk, the waiter - pretty much everyone she meets. I noticed not only her smile, but the reactions from people she came into contact with - they smiled back, seemed to instantly relax and were friendly back. I have tried incorporating this into my everyday life, and have found that people smile back and it actually makes me feel pretty good. It's hard to be sad or angry if you're smiling!
   


3. Exercising regularly.
   At the moment there are three activities I enjoy - running, yoga and kayaking. Find a few activities you enjoy and participate a few times each week - it's an excellent way to maintain your sense of well-being.
   I aim to run at least twice a week. Running is definitely something that helps keep me sane. I am an amateur runner, but it doesn't matter. The rush from running for at least 30 minutes is wonderful, as it clears my mind, lifts any stress my body may be holding on to, and it's usually the time when I get my great ideas.
   I aim to do one or two yoga classes a week. Again, a personal step to saneness for me. Don't you find that we usually gravitate towards physical activities we are naturally good at? Well, yoga is not one of those for me, but that is why I do it. It stretches me - both literally and figuratively. It helps me to calm my mind and focus on my breath. After months of practicing, the muscles in my shoulders and arms still scream out while I attempt to maintain the "downward dog" pose for any length of time, and my favourite poses are still "child's pose" and "corpse." Why do I keep at it? Flexibility and strength are important to me, and I feel absolutely wonderful after each class.
   Living in Toronto, kayaking season is short - June to September. I started kayaking last year at Harbourfront Canoe & Kayak Centre in the evenings, after work. It became a great way to get out of the city for a few hours and also proved to be a good workout for the upper body! I can hardly wait to start up again in a few months.
   


4. Drinking water.
   Just one point on drinking water, as we all know the benefits in maintaining our health and sense of well-being. Instead of drinking an 8oz glass of water in one go, try taking a few gulps every so often. Your body can't absorb a full glass of water in one sitting and will rid of the excess. Drinking a little at a time and often, is better.
   


5. Eating food that's good for me.
   For me, cutting out bread (including bagels, pastries, muffins, etc.) and sugar from my diet is a giant step towards feeling good. I do struggle with this from time to time, but if I'm "in the zone" and doing well in this area, I feel better, have more energy, and the flat tummy is not bad either! I substitute the bread with protein and veggies and the sweets with fruit and nuts, among other healthy alternatives.
   


6. Sleeping.
   Seven to eight hours of sleep each night is what I aim for. I awake refreshed and ready and excited to start my day!
   


7. Meeting new people.
   This is something that does not come naturally to me but ultimately does make me feel good. As an introvert, I'm aware that my need for being around people is maybe less than that of some. Social media has really opened up this area for me personally. I have made connections to many different people, and I feel that it has enriched my life. Through Facebook and Twitter I have been able to reunite with old friends, meet new friends and business contacts and maintain relationships easily.
   


8. Forgiveness.
   All of us have been disappointed or hurt at some time in our lives and I am no exception. I remember a person saying to me, after a rather painful experience I had gone through, that I would need to forgive before I could move on. At the time I thought that if that were true, how unfair. Why did I have to do anything - I was the hurt one. It seemed too tall an order. Years later, I came to recognize the truth in that statement. Forgiveness was essential for moving on and essential for my sense of well-being.
   


9. Keeping connected.
   Once every couple of weeks I get together with friends after work, for drinks or dinner (or both!). My schedule is pretty busy most weeks, but this is something that is really important to me, so I make the time for it. Those nights with girlfriends are especially essential to keeping me sane - it's where I get to be myself, talk out what's on my mind, and listen. Another tip on keeping in touch is this: every so often I look through the contacts on my phone, and if I come across the name of a person I have not connected with lately, I'll send her/him a note to say 'hi.' Many of us get caught up in the business of life and before we know it, a week has passed, and then a month. I try to keep in touch.
   


10. Spending time in nature.
    Essential to my well-being, every once in a while I need to get of the city - away from the noise of traffic and surrounded by the sound of birds or a lake or the ocean; away from the smog and smells of the city and around the smells of trees, flowers and fresh air.
    


11. De-cluttering and organizing.
    I like to spend some time each month sorting, filing, throwing away and donating when possible unwanted items: papers, books, clothing, shoes and other items that contribute to clutter. When I clean out a drawer or catch up on my filing or donate clothing I no longer wear, I feel as though I've accomplished something, and the stress that comes with all that clutter goes away.
    


12. Planning.
    Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a planner. I may be a little too extra in this area, but planning for me really does help keep me sane. A schedule keeps me organized, and being organized helps keep stress at bay.
    


13. Creating a sanctuary.
    I love my bedroom. It's the colour of the ocean and my furniture for the most part is white. I have various photos on my wall of the beach. It feels peaceful. It's important to have a place I can go to when I need to be alone. It provides a time for me to relax and reflect.
    


14. Thinking good thoughts.
    I try to be conscious of what I am thinking about at any given moment. This is probably one of the most important points on maintaining saneness for me. If I think about how I want my life to be, live in anticipation of those thoughts and believe I am already there, I will attract more of the same thoughts and that which I am anticipating. More on this here.
    


15. Taking time for myself.
    So essential to me staying sane is taking time for me. Going for a run to clear my head, taking a book to a coffee shop and spending some downtime immersed in a novel, taking a trip on my own, going for a long walk and taking in the sights and sounds - time alone is necessary in keeping me sane.
    


16. Living MY life!
    Last, but certainly not least, please live your life. It doesn't have to resemble anyone else's, it is yours after all. You get one chance at this thing called life. People say, "life is short" but it's the longest thing you'll do. Do it your way. I do.